Me Against the World
by ShadowFury12
Summary: In this darkness I feel daggers in my hands, the cold steel against my palm. In this darkness I feel the blood on my skin. I wish it was mine. But I know the truth, and the guilt that comes with it. Years of guilt. [Jaffar oneshot]


This is a one-shot songfic with the Simple Plan song, "Me Against the World" (wish I own, but don't). I was running on empty part of the way through the song, so I didn't put all of it in.

This is back when Jaffar was still young (maybe early teens) and being trained by Nergal.

* * *

**We're not gonna be just a part of their game We're not gonna be just the victims**

I woke in a dark chamber. It took me a moment to fully regain my senses. I felt a dull throb, and it took me a moment to realize the pain was coming from the lump on the back of my head. Then I remembered what had happened before and the dull pain turned into a sharp, violent one. They wanted me to… what was it…? Kill… they wanted me to kill… but I refused. I am not going to be their servant. They can't make me.

**They're takin' our dreams and they tear them apart 'Till everyone's the same**

I journeyed from the bedchamber door and into the hallway. Nobody was in sight. But in knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. I ran through the corridor. Where I was going I didn't know. What I indented I knew even less. By now I knew the maze-like castle vaguely. To the left was the great hall. To the right, more bedchambers. I knew I stood a better chance in the great hall than wandering around in other men's chambers, so took to the left.

**I've got no place to go**

**I've got nowhere to run**

**They'd love to watch me fall**

**They think they know it all**

I ran aimlessly through the castle, taking corridors I didn't know even existed. Was I trying to escape? Yes. But what I didn't know yet was if it was from Nergal, or from my thoughts.

Nergal seemed to be everywhere. Everywhere you turn, everything you think. He's there, waiting for you to mess up.

**I'm a nightmare, a disaster**

**That's what they always said**

They call me useless. But then why are they keeping me? Are they training me to work for them? Or are they just using me as a pawn in a bigger plan?

**I'm a lost cause, not a hero**

**But I'll make it on my own**

What am I doing? I cannot make it out of here, even if that is what my mind is planning. It is as if I am not in control anymore. My brain is sending me through corridors while my body obediently complies.

**I've got to prove them wrong,**

**It's me against the world.**

But no. I am not useless. I am not helpless. I have seen what I can do; Nergal has made me. But I will set my own path, not be forced to do his will.

**We won't let them change how we feel in our hearts**

**We're not gonna let them control us**

I remember what they made me do. They capture men and women, "prisoners of war," they call them. They interrogate and torture them for answers and make me watch. They say they are trying to make me a worthy fighter. They are trying to flush out my emotions. They are trying to make me as lifeless and spiritless as Nergal's morphs, if not more.

**We won't let them shove all their thoughts in our heads**

**And we'll never be like them**

Then when they get whatever information they want, they bring me into the room. The prisoners are half dead and weeping, some begging for life, others death.

I remember the first time Nergal put those daggers in my hands. He told me to kill them. If I refuse, they beat me until I obey. If I comply, I live my life with their innocent blood on their hands. Either way I loose. Sometimes I choose the easy way out, but most of the time I say no. I will not become what they want me to be, no matter how many wounds the inflict.

**I've got no place to go,**

**I've got nowhere to run,**

**They'd love to watch me fall**

**They think they know it all**

I stop running, trying to catch my breath. I look down at my hands. Hands stained with blood. Innocent blood from countless men and women, children and adults. Why do they do this to me? Why are they still? What do they want from me?

**Now I'm sick of this waiting**

**So come on and take your shot.**

I clench my fists. They can't have me. I won't let them. I will fight until the bitter end, whether that leads to freedom or death, pain or relief. I will not allow myself to be Nergal's slave any longer. I have my own life. My own mind. My own will.

**You can spit all your insults**

**But nothing you say's gonna change us**

I continue running down the corridor. Now I am energized by a whole new power. A whole new fierceness. Anger. Determination. I will escape, and I will silence anyone in my path.

**You can sit there and judge me**

**Say what you want to**

**We'll never let you in**

I pass by several morphs, and all of them fall to my daggers as they try to stop me. I will be a prisoner no longer. They cannot have me. I am free. I belong to no one. I will not give in without a fight.

**I'm a nightmare, a disaster**

**That's what they always said**

My cloak and daggers are weeping with morph blood. It is an eerie gold. But there is also crimson. I have killed a human, too.

**I'm a lost cause, not a hero**

**But I'll make it on my own**

I skid around a corner. I will be free. They cannot hold me. Now my body and mind are working together. They are both set on a common goal. _Get out. Be free. Be a slave no longer. _

_Be free._

**I'm gonna prove them wrong**

**They'll never bring us down**

**We'll never fall in line**

**I'll make it on my own**

The exit is just around the next corner. My heart is leaping with newfound hope; hope I had not known existed.

**Me against the world**

But Nergal is waiting there for me, surrounded by his most trusted morphs.

"Good job, Jaffar. You pass the test," Nergal says in his cold voice. Then Sonia steps forwards and hits me. Everything goes black.

* * *

R&R, please! 


End file.
